March 5, 2010, at 6:04 pm
I’ll admit it. I have never actually watched this show before. I am slowly catching up with all the random reality shows that are out there for our viewing pleasure. So why am I watching it this season? Well, while watching The Bachelor’s “After the Final Rose” show with Chris Harrison, the new lineup for Dancing With The Stars was announced, and surprise surprise…our very own ‘no longer bachelor’ Jake Pavelka will be shaking his tiny pilot booty along with the other “stars”.
Now before I go any further, I have to say that I am a little bit upset. Mr. Pavelka is just kind of annoying to me now, yes we get it… you are head over heels in love with a cross eyed idiot with no fashion sense. We get it! Shut up already. The other thing that bothers me, is that he is paired up with one of the most talented and amazing dancers I have ever seen. Chelsie Hightower was one of the semi finalists on the 4th season of So You Think You Can Dance and I love love love her! Plus… look at the picture, unlike every single couple in the gallery below, Jake and Chelsie are not even touching each other… isn’t that weird? Maybe Vienna told him that she’ll cut off his manhood or something. I wouldn’t put it past her. Now lets go to the other 10 contestants shall we:
Aiden Turner – Personally, I have never heard of him until today. And today is a pretty good day. This steaming hot British guy is not just a Soap Opera star ladies, he is a chef, a DJ, a world traveler and now a Dancing With The Stars contestant. Does it get any better than that? Well he is paired up with Polish ballroom dancer Edyta Sliwinska, so lets see if he can add professional dancer to his resume.
Buzz Aldrin – He might have been the second man on the moon but his dance talent is still a mystery. Until today. Buzz is no longer just an astronaut, scientist, inventor and best-selling author. You’d think that he would be enough for him but it’s not. Hey, some people just want to shoot the moon. (:-) I made a funny). Fun Fact #1: In case you were wondering, Toy Story‘s Buzz Lightyear, was in fact named after yours truly. Fun Fact #2: The MTV Music Video Award, “The Moonman” was originally called “The Buzzy” and is shaped in his image. Buzz is paired up with self-proclaimed “Utah County Mormon”, Ashly Costa. So shake your groove thang, you 80 year old spaceman, I’m rooting for you.
Chad Ochocinco – That’s an interesting name you say? Well, his real name is actually Chad Johnson, but it was legally changed to Ochocinco (85 in Spanish) because that is his jersey number. How original. Ochocinco is an NFL wide receiver, completing his ninth season with the Cincinnati Bengals. He holds the franchise record for most receiving yards in a season, most receiving yards of all time, the most receptions, the most receiving yards in a game, the most seasons with over 1,000 receiving yards and the most touchdowns in a game. Wow… try saying that in one breath. Paired up with the first two-time DWTS champion Cheryl Burke, he might have a pretty good shot at this dancing thing too.
Erin Andrews – Probably the prettiest sideline reporter ESPN has, Erin has given it to you straight from the network’s NHL coverage, ESPN College Football Saturday telecasts, Saturday Prime-time college basketball games, Big Ten college basketball coverage, ESPN College Football Primetime series on Thursday nights and added Major League Baseball sideline reporting to her responsibilities, including the Monday Night Baseball telecasts. But don’t catalog her as a tomboy… Erin graduated from the University of Florida where she was a member of the Gators’ basketball dance team from 1997-2000. Paired up with Ukrainian Latin Ballroom dance champion, choreographer and instructor Maksim Chmerkovskiy. Let’s see if these two can make some magic together.
Evan Lysacek – I have to be honest. He is probably the guy I am least excited about. This Olympic Gold Medal Winner and World Figure Skating Champion, was given his first pair of skates when he was 8, and since than he pulled out two US National Titles, a 4th place showing at the Torino Games in 2006 and his latest win in Vancouver was the first in 22 years for an American male at the Olympics. He is paired up with Russian ballroom dancer Anna Trebunskaya, so I’m hoping he’ll surprise me.
Kate Gosselin – I must admit, I was never a fan of the Gosselin family drama. But I gotta give to her now… girl looks good. After having 8 kids, 5 seasons of a reality show, being a New York Times bestselling author and a failed marriage that crumbled for the whole world to see, Kate seems to look and feel better than ever. Paired up with Albanian balroom dancer Tony Dovolani, Kate might be out to prove she is not done with us just yet.
Nicole Scherzinger – Now this is totally not fair. How could they have a professionally trained dancer competing on this show. This is so stupid. For those of you who don’t know, Nicole is the lead singer of The Pussycat Dolls, who are known for their sexy dance moves. She is paired up with American poster boy Derek Hough and I really hope that the audience will catch on to this farce and vote them off.
Niecy Nash – I was first introduced to Ms. Niecy Nash on the set of The Bernie Mac Show as the strict sexy high-school principal, and boy was she fabulous. Since than she has won a Gracie Award for her funny role as the no-nonsense Officer Raineesha Williams on the Comedy Central hit Reno 911! and it’s spin-off film Reno 911: Miami. As well as her current job as the host and producer of the Style Network’s home makeover show, Clean House. Niecy is also a two time 2009 Daytime Emmy nominee and the new celebrity panelist for the entertainment news program The Insider. Paired up with dutch ballroom dancer Louis van Amstel, I really hope this hot tamale brings it.
Pamela Anderson – Oh boy, I was afraid of this. Just another opportunity for our favorite Baywatch babe, Pamela Anderson, to wear next to nothing on national television. This blond bomb shell likes being the center of attention probably more than Lady Gaga likes to wear crazy outfits. First introduced to us as the “Tool Time Girl” on the hit series Home Improvement, and the world hasn’t been the same since. From Baywatch to her multiple dysfunctional rock star marriages, I cant wait to see her fall on her ass. Not that I’m wishing it, I just know it’s going to happen. Paired up with the ‘also new to DWTS’, Australian metro-sexual Damian Whitewood. This is going to be funny.
Shannen Doherty – Aaah finally. Let me tell you a little secret… In 5th grade, I dressed up as Shannon Doherty circa 90210 for Purim (The Jewish Halloween). I wore a black short sleeved scoop neck and light blue jeans covered in 90210 stickers that I found in bubble gum wrappers. That is my story and I’m sticking to it. Oh Shannon, the girl every one loves to hate. We first met her as Brenda Walsh, the innocent girl from Wisconsin who is introduced to the crazy world of Beverly Hills 90210. Since than she has done a few reality shows and a few made for TV movies, and of course played Prue Halliwell on one of my favorite shows of all time – Charmed.
Now that we met all the contestant, who are you rooting for? Me… I am all about Shannon Doherty. Reclaim your fame girl. The season premiere is Monday, March 22nd on ABC.
