March 11, 2010, at 4:57 pmYou didn’t think I would really let the Oscars rest without announcing the worst dressed did you? Well, I’m not. I did want to watch the Fashion police before I made my final decision to see if we agree but unfortunately we do not. Don’t get me wrong, their worst dressed is on my list as well (Ahm.. Charlize Theron) but I don’t think that she was the worst of the worst. So let’s get down to business and start going down the line:
Sarah Jessica Parker, I’m sorry honey but you look like a tampon. And not just a regular tampon, one of those silky gentle glide ones. Diane Kruger totally missed the target this time, and by target I mean chicken coup. Vera Farmiga, you may have starred aside one of Hollywood’s leading men, but didn’t stop you from wrapping a giant fuchsia table cloth around you did it. Oh Zoe Saldana in Givenchy couture, you make me so sad. I really really like you but you look like giant purple piniata full of sparkles and rainbows. Maggie Gyllenhaal is getting ready to eat some sushi and Charlize Theron got two cinnabuns on her boobies (Thanks for that Joan).
Here’s another thing I wanted to mention. Dear celebrities, please make sure you call each other and verify what everyone’s wearing before you show up looking like this… Thank you.
I really really like Amanda Seyfried (Mostly due to Dear John, thank you for making me cry my eyes out) but both her and Jennifer Lopez (Which by the way was a best dressed nominee on Fashion Police) looked like they were wearing that cellophane stuff, you know the stuff you wrap your valuables in when you move. Oh and Mariah Carey and Gabourey Sidibe. It’s not that they looked bad, it’s just that they didn’t look that great. Granted Gaby looks the best she has ever looked in her porn “money dress” but I could definitely go without Mariah’s ‘Picked it at up at Ross on my way here’ dress. You’re not that skinny any more girl, deal with it.
